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What a tense couple of years we have all had. I would guess that no one has gone unscathed during this pandemic. As a certified grief educator and trauma facilitator, I have heard numerous accounts of heart break and heart ache. COVID has not only robbed us of our loved ones, but like a Midwest tornado, has left plenty of destruction in its path.
Obviously, there has been physical death. Frequently there were no good-byes accompanying those lonely crossings leaving bereaved family and friends to figure it out for themselves. People have lost jobs and income, status and wealth, and health and confidence. Fear took over. What if I die?! The death of a beloved has us questioning our own mortality and now COVID has brought it to the forefront for all of us. A beautiful, but confused customer in the metaphysical bookstore where I work said it best. She said she was grieving the loss of herself.
Whether you are grieving: the loss of yourself, the life that you had, the passing of a loved one, the loss of a pet, a divorce, a business, your health, the loss of your home, or you are “scared to death;” there are spiritual principles that can help you heal if you are willing to do take a look.
I’m inviting you to dive deeper and “take that look.” The metaphysical bookstore where I work hosts affordable online Zoom events on a regular basis that help people to heal and grow. I am fortunate to be featured this month on May 24 at 7:00 Pm Pacific. My topic is the “Five Spiritual Steps for Healing Grief.” Here is the Zoom link.
https://www.eastwestbooks.org/events/five-spiritual-steps-healing-after-grief-24may22
The bookstore charges $10 and you do need to register. It will be recorded if you can’t join us live. Please share this link with anyone you feel might benefit from the experience.
During scary times like these with the fear of COVID, political unrest, and economic uncertainty; my beliefs that we are spiritual beings having physical experiences are comforting. Here are The Five Spiritual Steps for Healing Grief and the Fear of Dying:
- Know
- Love
- Forgive
- Trust
- Flourish
KNOW that your loved one did not die. They left their body, but their spirit – their essence – their Higher Self – their soul -their vibration, lives on for eternity. I love what my long-time mentor, Dr. Wayne Dyer, used to say, “Your body is just the garage where you park your soul.” Know this and know that your loved one wants to communicate with you. They want you to know that they are still with you in spirit. Know that you can help them. Know that by raising your consciousness, you help them on the other side, and simultaneously, you help your own soul to grow. Know that you will heal, even when you believe it’s impossible.
LOVE is energy. Science teaches us that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Energy can only be transferred or change from one form to another. Therefore, love cannot be destroyed, but it can change form. Love is all there is. In her New York Times best-selling book, A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson states, “Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we have learned here. The spiritual journey is the relinquishment – or unlearning – of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts. Love is the essential existential fact. It is our ultimate reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.” The opposite of love is fear and since love is all there is – fear does not exist.
FORGIVE is the most important word in the English language in my opinion. I believe it is also the hardest thing to do – especially when it comes to forgiving ourselves. Lewis B. Smedes states, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” People often don’t forgive because they think that if they do forgive, they are admitting that what happened was okay. They are mistaken. In forgiving we accept what transpired and we are now willing to let go of the resentment and the hurt. It also doesn’t mean that you have to forget, but you can release it. When you know that love never dies, you also know that it is never too late to forgive or ask for forgiveness.
TRUST your guidance and ask for signs. There are no right and wrong decisions; only opportunities to learn. Surrender to your higher self. Allow things to be. If you have doubted yourself and tended to let others determine your self-worth, you need to know that you are worthy, and you are deserving. Trust in life. Trust in the spiritual. Trust in your Higher Self. Trust in you.
FLOURISH by knowing and understanding that grief is a gift. – When I first heard that grief was a gift, I was angry and furious. How dare anyone say that! When I was grieving, I became like an onion, crying while I peeled the layers away exposing myself to myself. When I emerged from the grieving process, I finally understood the gift of grief is not in the grief itself; but in embracing that there is life after this life AND in this life. No pun intended, but I was scared to death to die. Now I am not afraid to live or die. I am flourishing.
I break grieving into two parts – the spiritual and the physical. The spiritual will “trump” the physical, but because we are having a human experience, we need to feel the pain to heal. I’m sorry, but there is no hocus pocus, no abracadabra, no woo woo that will take the physical longing away. You will miss your beloved. You will ache for them. Spiritually you can come to know you can still have a relationship with them; it will just be different from what you envisioned or imagined. Perhaps it will even be better. I offer the ABC’s for healing grief for your physical body.
- Act. Act kindly towards yourself and others. Do an act of kindness for someone else.
- Be. Be yourself. Be with your grief. Be loving.
- Cry. Cry as many tears as you have to. Crying is a proven release.
- Do. Do something to nurture yourself and another individual.
- Exercise. Even if it is a walk to the corner. Take care of your body. You will need your stamina.
- Feel. Feel your pain. You cannot heal what you cannot feel.
- Grieve. Grieve for as long as you need. Don’t judge yourself or compare. There is gift from your loved one in the grief.
- Honor. Honor your loved one in a fashion you, and they, will understand and appreciate.
- Invite. Invite others to grieve with you. They will be honored. Don’t grieve alone.
- Join. Join a grief group or other supportive organization. Journal your feelings and emotions.
- Know. Know that the spirit of your loved one lives on. Know that you will heal, even when you believe it’s impossible.
- List. List everything you don’t ever want to forget about your loved one. Write it down or put it in your phone.
- Meditate. It helps. It works. Read my blogs: Meditation Made EZand Upside Down Meditation.
- Nourish. Nourish your body, mind, and soul. Eat healthy food, sleep, and pray.
- Own. Own your feelings. Hold your own private celebration of life for your loved one. Get creative.
- Pray. Praying is believed to help you AND the one on the other side.
- Quote. Quote your loved one. It will make you feel better. Find soothing quotes online or in books.
- Read. Read books about grief and the afterlife. They help!
- Scrapbook. Make a scrapbook with pictures and mementos that you can look at everyday and save forever.
- Talk. Talk to your loved one. Many believe and trust like I do – that they hear every word. It helps you too.
- Understand. Understand that people will say the wrong thing. Their intentions are usually pure.
- Vibrate. Raising your vibration or consciousness will help you heal and possibly connect with your loved one.
- Write. Write a letter to the one you are missing. Write down everything you want to never forget.
- Xerox. Xerox or make copies of everything you want to save and put them in your scrapbook or safe place.
- Yell. Yell, scream, cry into your pillow or do what you have to in order to release your grief.
- Zen. Zen out after all the yelling and pounding of pillows.
Amazingly enough there have been some blessings that COVID has bestowed upon us. The bookstore where I work has been a godsend to me and would not have happened without COVID. I love the people who are employed there: the management, the customers, the crystals, the books, and the growth in consciousness that has resulted from working there. I can’t wait to go to work – and it’s even in walking distance!
I do hope you can join me on Zoom on May 24 and please share the link with a friend. Don’t forget that it will be recorded and available to you for a week after the live event.
Namaste. Di