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This is Part 2 on Forgiveness. Here is the link for Part 1, should you want to check it out.
Craig explained that his father was there to greet him when he crossed over and that they hugged each other profusely. He went on to disclose that he and his father had made a contract before they both incarnated in this lifetime. With the contract, Craig had asked his father to teach him some hard, difficult lessons, about self-actualization for his soul’s growth while he was here. And because his father had done so, Craig enthusiastically thanked his father when they were reunited on the other side. Craig did not condone the violence; but was thankful for the lessons learned and for the growth.
In the year after Craig passed, I devoured sixty-five books on the afterlife. The best one I read was The Little Soul and the Sun. I highly recommend that you read the precious little book and liberally share it. It answered more questions for me than the other sixty-five and it only takes a few minutes to read. I will do my best to recap the crucial forgiveness point as a means of clarification around Craig’s father’s actions; but please, do get the book.
The story takes place in heaven with an angel, Little Soul, talking to God who wants to be able to experience forgiveness and be forgiving. Everything in heaven is so perfect that it wouldn’t be possible to experience forgiveness there. Hearing of the dilemma, another angel, Friendly Soul, approaches the Little Soul and volunteers to assist him in his quest to understand forgiveness. He informs the Little Soul that he could give him something to forgive by coming into his next lifetime with him and being the “bad one.” He would do something terrible so the Little Soul could experience himself as the “one who forgives.” The Little Soul was excited that he could have this opportunity, but there was one important stipulation on behalf of the Friendly Soul. Friendly Soul asked that if the moment came that he struck Little Soul or did the “worst possible thing,” that Little Soul needed to remember who Friendly Soul really was. And the Little Soul promised that he would remember. Friendly Soul replied that was good, because he, Friendly Soul, would have been pretending so hard, that he would have forgotten that he truly was a “friendly soul.”
And so, the Little Soul anxiously came into a new lifetime to experience forgiveness and to thank other souls that made it possible – even if they brought him sadness. The Little Soul recalled what God had said, “Always remember, I have sent you nothing but angels.” When Craig and his father were reunited in heaven, they thanked each other and rejoiced for the lessons learned and their experience of forgiveness, just like the Little Soul and the Friendly Soul.
This story helped me to be more compassionate, forgiving, and understanding towards everyone, including myself. When I saw a homeless person on a street corner begging for money, I was suddenly asking myself, was this part of his contract for his soul’s growth? Could I have been one of those people without a home and family? Suddenly I was filled with empathy and softheartedness for everyone I met. I realized that it didn’t even matter if the story about the Little Soul was true or not. It didn’t matter if there were contracts or past lives or not. All that mattered was that I stopped judging everyone, including myself, and was able to feel compassion and forgiveness.
Realization dawned on me that I had indeed been able to forgive myself (mainly for my failed marriages), when I read my daily affirmation by Reverend Jane Beach on April 12, 2019. She wrote, “The butterfly doesn’t look back at the caterpillar with regret. I needn’t look back at my past with regret. Everything I did or didn’t do was part of my transformation. My struggles made me stronger. My many mistakes made me wiser.”
Craig reminded me that sin is an archery term that means “missing the mark.” He pointed out that the Course in Miracles, and many spiritual mentors and books, teach us that only love is real and therefore we cannot sin or “miss the mark.” We can certainly make mistakes, and we do, but an all-loving God, Spirit, or Source helps us to heal rather than punish us. And Craig said part of his assignment, in the spirit realm, was to help me learn how to forgive myself, love myself, and help me to heal.
The way that Craig finally “got through to me” was by having me do my own nightly “life review.” Each night before I fell asleep, I would run the “movie of my day” through my mind. I watched the movie without judgement, just like Craig said he experienced after he died in his life review. I need to repeat that, “without judgment.” It takes practice and patience! I was in the habit of nailing myself to the cross every night for all the things I could have done better or didn’t do at all. (Sadly, I am certain that I am not alone in judging and condemning myself as part of my daily ritual.) After previewing the “film of my day,” without judgement, I would simply ask myself the million-dollar question, “How could I have been more loving?”
I found that my taking a proactive approach to doing better at the next opportunity or juncture, filled me with hope and not despair. I couldn’t wait to make inroads or improvements. I was teaching myself how to be kinder and gentler to me, and in so doing, it carried into all aspects of my life – personal and business. It’s so much easier to forgive yourself and others when you’re not judging you or them. By practicing my “life review” every night with “the glass half full attitude,” I have been able to come “down from the cross” and love myself unconditionally, which automatically translated into self-forgiveness. I also believe it is good practice for the actual life review that is inevitable for all of us.
Lewis B. Smedes states, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” People often don’t forgive because they think that if they do forgive, they are admitting that what happened was okay. They are mistaken. In forgiving we accept what transpired and we are now willing to let go of the resentment and the hurt. It also doesn’t mean that you have to forget, but you can release it. Not forgiving has been linked to hormonal imbalance and increased health risks. As Craig said, un-forgiveness can literally kill you.
On that note, I think we need a prayer! Craig has an affinity for the Hawaiian energy, so I shall share my favorite Hawaiian prayer on forgiveness. I was blessed to live in Hawaii for seven years and I came to love all things Hawaiian. The prayer is called Ho’oponopono. It goes like this: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.”
Please share your forgiveness stories below.